Of Prostitution and Power Outages
by Snape No Koibito
Summary: All the lights in the dungeon go out!--NEW CHAPTER! Hermione, Neville and Pansy inform!
1. Default Chapter

Title: Of Prostitution and Power-Outages

Author: Snape no Koibito

Rating: PG-13

Feedback/Archive: Yes to both please! ^^

Series/Sequel: Well, if anyone want to write a follow up, that's okay with me. Run it by me first though. I promise to be nice.

Summary: The lights go out during potions.

Disclaimer: blah blah blah, yack yack yack

A/N: Our power went out for a couple hours the other day, and I was bitten by a furry pink plot bunny. It didn't turn out quite as planned, but oh well.

Sirius,

Sorry if this is a little sloppy. I'm writing by candlelight, but even so, the details should amuse you.

The lights are out in dungeons. We had just settled down when they blew out, and wouldn't light up again. Hermione jumped into Snape's lap. Unfortunately for her, he and Draco had begun snogging the moment we couldn't get the lights back on. They disappeared into his office, dropping a disgruntled Hermione onto Pansy Parkinson's lap. I think they could've drowned us all, if ya know what I mean. Ron, Dean, Seamus, Neville, and I went off into a corner. We were playing Truth or Dare, when Dean dared me to kiss Ron.

Then Filch came in with some candles. When we lit our wands, the sights we saw were amazing! Snape was on his knees in front of Filch, and was sucking him off while being buttfucked by Draco. Lavender and Parvati were making out on the floor, along with Dean, Seamus, and Neville. Tweedle-dee and 

Tweedle-dum were watching Hermione and Pansy play Scrabble with the other girls. 

Then Ron said he screw me if I gave him 10 Galleons, so I did. Does this make him my whore?

Talk about a fun night.

Yours,

Harry

* * * * * * * * 

Albus,

You wanted to know what happened down in the dungeons yesterday? Well, it was certainly interesting. Potter's account of what happened contains some false information. Allow me to set the record straight.

First of all, Hermione did not jump into my lamp. She sneezed on me. Draco and I did not do anything… well, not with each other. Thomas, Finnigan, Miss Brown, Miss Patil, and Longbottom were playing BS in a corner. Somehow Longbottom had managed to light his wand. 

Harry had no reason to accuse me and Argus. We were in my office with the door closed.

Then Weasley snuck off with Longbottom when he was offered 5 sickles for a make-out session.

Sincerely,

Professor Severus A. Snape

* * * * * * * *

Father,

The lights went out in potions yesterday. Pansy jumped into my lap and knocked me out of my chair and onto Ron Weasley, who offered to give me blow job if I gave him2 galleons.

Everyone else was either playing Scrabble, BS, or Spin the Bottle. Except Snape. He was with Filch in his office. I think they were playing "doctor."

Your son,

Draco

* * * * * * * * 

Dear Fred and George,

Please stop pestering me. This is the last time I'm going to tell you what happened on Friday in the dungeons. 

The lights were out. Eventually, we all had the brilliant idea to light our wands, after screaming and making ghost noises to annoy the shit out of Snape. When he lit his wand, everybody grabbed somebody to kiss. I grabbed Harry. After that little escapade, Snape escaped into his office, where he and Filch had a quicky. 

Hermione and Dean snuck out. Apparently Dean had offered Hermione 5 galleons for some sex. 

So of course, Harry got turned on, and he and Malfoy started "getting it on" right in the middle of the classroom. Ick! With Malfoy, I mean, come ON!

I kidnapped Parvati because she offered me 3 galleons for a kiss. Well, I ended up with a lot more than that! When we finished, she gave me 15 galleons, 2 sickles, and 7 knuts, just being a good lay!

Seamus and Neville wear preoccupied. I think their favorite number is sixty-nine, if ya get my drift.

Better go, Harry's coming (Yum)!

Ron

* * * * * * * * 

Headmaster Dumbledore,

I'm afraid we have no choice but to commit these students to St. Mungo's for a month.They are overly sexual, and extremely crazy, careless, and delusional.

Yours truly,

Dr. Evil


	2. the SECOND PART! *GASP! and DROOL!*

Title: Of Prostitution and Power-Outages-- 2/?

Author: Snape no Koibito

Rating: PG-13

Feedback/Archive: Feed me! I never get feedback!

Series/Sequel: more to come

Summary: More information is revealed about who did what with who! The long-awaited PART TWO!

Disclaimer: Hot damn... but no. They are not mine. *sobsobsob* 

Professor McGonagall,

This is the true account of what happened in the dungeons on Friday. We were all just sitting there, listening to Professor Snape's lecture on how bananas are used in modern potion making when suddenly the lights went out and somebody's cauldron exploded (I think it was Ron or Neville's?). Professor Snape stopped lecturing when he heard the loud moans Harry and Draco where making. I lit my wand to see what was going on. It was interesting. Harry and Draco were all over each other. Pants went flying and I got knocked into Ron's lap. This stunk royally because he was giving a blow job to Professor Snape, who was getting it from behind by Mr. Filch. Apparently he was seven galleons richer at the end of class. Anyway. After Ron pushed me off his lap, I finally managed to remove the trousers from my head. I was a bit shocked when somebody made the discovery that I wear no underwear, but was pleasantly surprised to find that they had a talented mouth. I still have no idea who it was. Then somebody cast a birth control charm and we all lit our wands and places them on our desks. You haven't lived until you've seen Crabbe and Goyle attempt to play Scrabble with Neville, Parvati and Lavender. None of them can spell very well, as I'm sure you know. The Slytherin girls were having a massive orgy and at the center of it was Seamus and Dean. I joined it, because I was NOT going to do anything with Ron, Snape and Filch; Harry and Draco were too wrapped in each other and the Scrabble game would have been way too easy too win. After a bit though, Dean and I left, because it was too noisy and he wanted to show me what a real proper broomstick felt like.

Sincerely,

Hermione Granger

* * * * * * * *

Ron,

I know who you did last Thursday in potions!

~Anonymous

* * * * * * * * 

Percy,

I had the best time ever in potions yesterday! Professor Snape had given us a practical to do while lecturing us about how we were to use our bananas in the potion we were making. The lights went out, my hand slipped and the potion exploded. It must have done something really weird because suddenly, everybody was all hot and bothered. You could tell from the moans made by Harry and his not-so-secret-anymore-boyfriend, Draco Malfoy. It was a bit noisy elsewhere as well. Professor Snape and Mr. Filch were going at it like the apocalypse was coming tomorrow and sex would get them into heaven. It was nasty. Yuch. Old people sex... and did you know that your littlest brother is very flexible. I mean, Seamus AND Dean AND Hermione AND all the Slytherin girls? It was interesting. I tried playing Scrabble for a bit with Crabbe, Goyle, Parvati and Lavender, but then I got to watching the others and thinking of you and had to go off into a corner to jerk myself off. You just look so fucking hot when you come. 

Miss and love you,

Neville

* * * * * * * * 

Cho,

We had the strangest incident in potions the other day. The lights went off and almost everybody started having sex after Longbottom's cauldron exploded. I was just innocently watching Ron Weasley suck off Professor Snape (who was being fucked good and hard by Argus Filch) when suddenly Hermione Granger landed on my head. She wasn't wearing underwear and I hadn't eaten in a while so I ate her until she came many, many times. Then I put sat her on the desk and ran off to join the other Slytherin girls in a massive orgy with Finnegan and some kid named Dean. Granger joined us later though and I'm surprised that a mudblood has such a talented mouth. It was a pity though. For all her intelligence, she fell for the old "I'll show you a good broomstick" line when the muggle boy, Thomas used it on her. Sheesh. I still can't believe Draco's in love with Potter. It's disgustingly cute and out of character for both of them. Nobody would fuck Longbottom though. He crept away from his Scrabble game to jerk off, screaming out "Percy!" when he came. Whatever. Miss you and wish you were there. It's so much nicer with more experienced students.

~Pansy~

More coming soon! Stick around and find out who did what!


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